Anyone who says that meeting someone online is lazy, a scam, pointless; don't listen to them. That couldn't be furthest from the truth. It's about knowing what you're looking for, what site to use, how to promote yourself, and a few other guidelines.
I say this because, well, that's how Perry and I met. Late September on Black People Meet, I was going through an inbox of lame messages and flirts, ready to delete my profile because all of the men were old, ugly, unprofessional, or just wrong. But I decided to try one more search, and his page popped up. He was cute and I LOVED what I read on his page. We deleted our profiles so I don't have the exact quote but I know that he mentioned his expectations from the site, what his ideal woman would be, his educational status and his values. And I was intrigued. So, being that I had a full membership, I sent him a short message along the lines of "I like what I read, we should get together for a dinner sometime, and see if we hit if off."
Days went by and there was no response, I was beginning to think the feeling/attraction wasn't mutual. Bummer. Back to the drawing board. I was going to delete my profile, because I was beginning to believe all of the negativity said about online dating. I didn't log in for a few days, I figured I'd just have more older men or wannabe thugs leaving me winks in my damn inbox. Then I got an email, the subject read "Perry replied to your message." I immediately logged in and would you believe the only thing I saw was "Here's my number (digits), call me sometime." Bold move! I texted him immediately (yes, text, there was no telling if he were busy or not). And the rest is history (we'll cover it more in depth later).
Let me add, online dating is not for everyone. I say it's more geared towards working professionals, people who are crunched for social time, people who don't get out much.
I typed that all to say there's a certain way that internet dating works and I've got a few guidelines and questions to answer that I learned from it all:
1. Be honest about how you describe yourself, don't type anything you can't prove in person. Just think, why say something about yourself that you know will be looked for in the event you meet someone?
2. Know what's important to you in a partner. If you have kids, what qualities must a man/woman have that'll be suitable for you AND your child(ren)?
3. What do you value? Family? Education? Religion? Lifestyle?
4. What are you hoping to gain from the website? A relationship? A casual friendship? A potential lifelong partner? Choose a website that's geared towards what you're looking for? Why use a site that wants to lead to more marriages if you're just looking for casual dating?
5. What do you want people to appreciate about you in a relationship? What do you have to 'offer' so to speak?
6. Upload a realistic picture of yourself. What would you look like if they happened to walk past you on the street? Don't put up your most formal photo if you don't strive to look like that every day, that'll be the appearance people expect when meeting you.
Use these questions as a guide to create a mental checklist as you're creating a profile. It'll increase your chances of finding someone more compatible and help you weed out the "bad seeds."
Let me end this by saying, thank you Black People Meet for allowing the (simple) communication between Perry and me. I couldn't ask for a better partner who meets all of my expectation and vice versa. When used correctly, you too can have this success online.
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